Evil Is A Weapon Issue 1 Script
Check out my script for Evil Is A Weapon Issue 1. Feel free to use it for practice or to learn from. Tag me or reach out if you use it for anything!!
Page 1
Goal here is to have a general introduction with a bit of a hook. No characters yet, just like a world introduction. I’m thinking like an all black page with the panels overlayed on top. It should look dark.
Panel 1: A spot light shines down on a grisly totem. Think Texas Chainsaw Massacre where they made furniture out of human body parts. We have bones forming the base of this structure while skulls and other body parts form the column. It is more ritualistic than disgusting if that makes sense.
Narration: There is evil in this world.
Panel 2: War scene here of soldiers in the middle of a battle. Bullets are raining down on both sides while men inaudible scream and wave. There are dead soldiers littering the ground.
Narration: Evil that eclipses the crimes of man
Panel 3: Panel of a mother and child cowering in a dark room. The door is open and light shines in. We cannot see the man, but we can see a large shadow holding a bottle in one hand and a belt in the other.
Narration: A pure sentient evil
Panel 4: Smaller panel here with a close up of an older man’s smiling mouth. We can only see his mouth and the bushy white beard that surrounds it. His teeth are somewhat stained with chewing tobacco.
Narration: The cycle continues
Page 2
Splash page of the pile of bones with the bloody chainsaw and title of series
Page 3
We’re going to take a slight break here for the next few pages. Focus on building up our main character and build some connections. The main character and his friends are on a road trip for spring break to an area they used to go to when they were kids. They were able to rent a house on the river. We have Jax (MC), Trish (his gf), Paul (one of his friends), Stacey (Paul’s GF), and Steve (other friend 5th wheeling it).
Panel 1: A zoomed out shot of a van driving down a two lane highway. Camera is above and to the side so we can see the top and side of the van. It is a bright day and there is grass on either side of the road with trees. It is a pretty bright road and looks like a beautiful day.
SFX: Vroom
Speech Bubble: *Indistinguishable Dialogue*
Panel 2: Zoomed in closer now where we can see the side of the van and see people through the windows. There is one in the driver, one in the passenger, and three in the back. Not enough to really make out everyone yet though. There will be some overlapping dialogue here as others are having random conversations.
Speech bubble from back: How much longer do you think it will be?
Speech bubble from passenger: I have to go to the bathroom, think we can stop soon?
Panel 3: Larger panel here where we can get a better full spread of the inside of the van. Camera is in the back right corner of the van looking towards the front. The van is pretty large and comfortable with two bucket seats between the front section and back row. It is not overly messy, but clearly has road trip junk food wrappers and snacks laying around. Everyone is pretty happy here. Jax is driving, but has his head partially turned to answer questions. Trish is in the passenger seat, but turned around looking backwards of the side so we can see her face and part of her body that isn’t blocked by the seat. Stacey is to the left of the back bucket seats talking towards the two up front. Paul is to the right, turned back to face Steve. Steve is in the back seat facing Paul and conversing.
Jax: We probably have about another hour and a half. Trish, do you really have to go or could you hold it?
Trish: That depends, how grumpy do you want me to be for the rest of this trip?
Steve: Sounds like we should stop dude.
Jax: Noted… I’ll stop as soon as I can.
Panel 4: We are back outside and to the right and behind the van looking forward now. We can see the backdoors of the van, the side of the van, and further up the road. There is a sign in the distance that has a cartoon old man face. Further away so not as detailed, but it's an old timey country prospector look for the face. Shaggy white hair that goes to his beard, a piece of wheat/grass sticking out of his mouth, and a straw hat. He has a big “smile” on his face with his mouth open, but something feels off about it. Next to the sign are the words “Whistlin Willie’s BBQ and Gas. Food so good it’ll make you whistle”.
Speech bubble from van: Oh! there's gas and food right up ahead.
Speech bubble from van: Oh thank God, I’m starving
Speech bubble from van: Yeah I could go for something
Panel 5: A close up here on Whistling Willie’s face. Lots of detail here of the cartoonish open mouth smile and wide eyes. There is just something sinister about this sign.
Page 4
Here, the characters go into the gas station and meet Whistlin Willie himself. Willie doesn’t think it's too good of an idea for them to head on up to the river, but do kids ever listen to random creepy strangers in these kinds of situations.
Panel 1: Ground level view from across the street where you can fully see the gas station and store. The van is turning into the gas station and all in all it looks relatively modern and normal. Has a few rows of pumps that are covered. The store in the back looks pretty modern with large rectangular windows allowing you to see some of the aisles inside. There are some other cars around as well. Not abandoned by any means. Over the double door entrance is a sign that again says “Whistlin Willie’s BBQ and Gas. Food so good it’ll make you whistle” and has the cartoonish face. To the right of the door sitting in a rocking chair is an old man. It’s hard to make out all the details from this distance, but it could just be Whistlin Willie himself.
Speech bubble from van: Well isn’t this place in the middle of nowhere.
Speech bubble from van: Oh shush.
Panel 2: The van is parked by a gas pump now and we can see a full body shot of Jax stepping out of the car. The gas cap is on the passenger side of the car so he is stepping away from the pumps and we can get a good view of him. His head is turned as he looks over his shoulder. He is a pretty big muscular guy. Clothing is tight enough that we can see his physique, but not overly so. He is wearing jeans and a dark red t-shirt that just has the mountain mana symbol from Magic the Gathering on it.
Jax to van: I might as well fill her up while we’re here. Head in and I’ll meet you Speech bubble from Van: You in the mood for BBQ? Apparently it’ll make you whistle.
Jax: HA- yeah okay I’m down to try it if y’all are
Panel 3: We are behind and to the right of the van now Jax is over by the pump and we can see Jax whistling to himself while messing with the pump and his friends from behind. They’re all pretty good looking and with some various differences in body shape. Leave it up to you here. Have the two guys walking together and the two girls walking together. We can see the front of the door a little closer now and get a better view of Willie sitting by the door. He seems to be staring right at Jax.
Sfx: Whistling
Panel 4: Jax is now walking into the store and he is almost at the double doors right next to Willie. The view should be a close up with the two of them taking up almost all of the panel. Jax has his back towards us, but has his head turned towards Willie. Wille’s front is facing towards us, but his head is turned towards Jax.
Willie: Welcome to Whistlin Willie’s, make sure you try the BBQ!
Jax: Definitely! What do you recommend?
Willie: I always recommend a good rib or piece of brisket personally.
Panel 5: A close up of just Willie’s body and face looking up towards Jax/the camera. Willie is smiling up at him, but his teeth are a little yellow and tobacco stained. He’s smiling, but there’s something off about his smile. His eye lines crinkle slightly too much and the little bit of his eyes that we can see seem to be pitch black.
Willie: Go on in with your friends now, but when you leave, make sure to give your old pal Willie a holler!
Panel 6: A close up of just Jax’s face looking quizzical and maybe a little concerned.
Jax: Uhhhh….yeah….sure I can do that…
Page 5
Friends are inside the gas station store at this point walking around. The only real thing of note here is the spits of meat rotating behind the counter. Otherwise they are friends buying stuff from a convenience store. Pretty normal stuff.
Panel 1: Jax is walking in to the store while Paul, Stacey and Steve look at the meat selection (great change in panel by the way, definitely the right move)
Paul: What are you thinking Stace?
Steve: I don’t know, but that brisket looks pretty good
Stacey: I didn’t realize we had the same name.
Panel 2: Jax is walking up to his girlfriend Trish here as she looks at snacks in the aisle. She has a bag of chips in one hand and a jar of nuts in the other and she is eyeing them quizzically. We have a front side view of her as she faces the aisle and we can see Jax is walking towards her. From this angle we can see the side of his face.
Jax: Well, hey there pretty lady
Trish: Mmmm
Jax: you come here often?
Trish: ugh..
Panel 3: We have a front view of the two of them now as they face the aisle. Jax has his arm around Trish and she is leaning her head against his shoulder. They are both now looking at the snacks.
Jax: Well what are we in the mood for today?
Trish: That’s what I want to know, do I want chips or cashews?
Jax: Well… I do know that you can be quite fond of……salty nuts
Panel 4: Very similar panel to panel 3, but Trish has now turned towards Jax and punched him in the shoulder. Jax feigns pain
Sfx: Pow
Trish: Don’t be stupid!!
Jax: Oww
Trish: Go check on your friends and make sure they aren’t lost somewhere in here
Panel 5: Panel of Jax walking back down the aisle towards the front. We are behind him and can just see his back as he holds up his right arm in an informal wave.
Jax: Haha right right, I’m on it
Panel 6: Back to the first frame of that meat behind the red glass sizzling away.
Sfx: Szzzz
Page 6
Continuation of them being inside the store. Jax is going to chat with Paul and Steve for a second and then they’ll get some BBQ for the road.
Panel 1: Paul and Steve are standing facing each other by the BBQ counter. There is a nondescript man behind it, but we don’t really need any detail to be fleshed out. Jax is walking up to them.
Jax: Yo! Where’s Stacey?
Paul: Going to the bathroom, she should be out in a second.
Steve: I’m kind of wondering about this gas station bbq.
Jax: It looks pretty good. Besides, I told the guy outside I’d try the brisket.
Panel 2: Similar panel to the one above. The three are still talking, but this time Steve and Paul look surprised.
Paul and Steve (simultaneously): He talked to you?!?!
Jax: What do you mean? The guy was super friendly
Paul: Dude, he was like a vegetable when we walked by him. Didn’t say anything or move an inch
Panel 3: Close up here of Willie out front. We are in the front and slightly to the side of him so we can see that he is partially slumped forward in his chair. He has a slack jawed dazed expression on his face. His mouth is partially open and he is drooling a little bit. There is a fly or two buzzing around him.
Sfx: Bzzzzzz
Panel 4: Back to the inside of the shop now Jax is moving closer to the counter and we can see more detail of the man now. He is pretty heavily muscled and has a big mustache. Think old style butcher. Jax’s friends are slightly behind him now.
Jax aside to his friends off panel: Eh.. whatever
Jax: Hey man, word on the street is your brisket is pretty good we’ll take 2 pounds of it. How’s the pulled pork?
Man: I prefer the sausage, but all of it’s going to be good….trust me.
Panel 5: Back to the panel of the meat sizzling behind the red glass. If possible make look even more ominous (not sure if it is)
Sfx: Szzzzzz
Panel 6: Camera is facing the 3 friends with Jax in the foreground and a clear picture of Steve in the background. Jax is shrugging, looking nonchalant and has his arm up with the thumb pointing to Steve in the back. Steve has both hands up and looks jokingly exasperated.
Jax: Sounds good to me. Throw in 2 pounds of pulled pork and a couple sausages.
Jax: He’s got it covered
Steve: Bro what?!?
Page 7
Next two pages are of Willie warning Jax and his friends not to go to the place they’re staying this evening. Really trying to ratchet up the tension here a bit while also finishing with a man looking just beat down.
Panel 1: We are facing the outside of the store from far enough away to see the front of the building and the sign over the automatic doors. Willie is sitting to the right of the door. The door has slid open and the six friends are standing in the opening with Jax in the lead, bag of BBQ in hand.
Door SFX: Shhhhhhk
Willie: Well hey there! Did you get the Brisket?!
Panel 2: We are zoomed in on Jax and Willie now facing each other, Jax still has the bag of BBQ in his hand. Willie is clearly looking up at him with a kind of manic open mouth grin.
Jax: You bet we did; it looks and smells great!
Willie: Aww you have to try it now, I want to hear you whistle!
Jax: I would, but I need to get back on the road. We still have an hour or two to drive.
Willie: Oh where are you staying?
Panel 3: Close up on willie again with him sitting in his chair fills the entire panel. He has that weird black eyed evil looking smile again.
Willie: I happen to know all about this area.
Willie: I have been here for quite… quite a long time.
Panel 4: The camera has panned over to cover the other 4 friends who all look uncomfortable and just a little scared. Trish is a little in the front with Steve on one side and Paul and Stacey on the other. Paul’s arm is around Stacey in a protective way.
Trish: I don’t know about you guys, but he kind of gives me the creeps.
Steve: Yeahhh, hey Jax! I think we should head out soon buddy
Panel 5: Camera is behind Jax’s right shoulder so we see his back and part of the side of his face. Willie can be seen quite clearly here.
Jax: Just a little up the road, I used to come here and swim in the river all the time when I was a kid.
Willie: I’m not sure if that’s such a good idea young man.
Panel 6: Camera is behind Willie’s left shoulder and looking up at Jax. We can see the side of Willie’s wrinkled old face and Jax looks a little puzzled, slightly frowning.
Jax: Oh and why is that?
Willie: A lot of people have been saying it ain’t safe up there recently.
Willie: Something feels off. The air is too cold. The night is too dark. It just ain’t natural.
Page 8
A continuation of Jax and Willie talking out front.
Panel 1: The friends have started to walk away at this point. Trish is still the closest to the front of the panel and she is looking towards the camera. She looks actually worried now. The others have started to walk away. Paul still has his arm around Stacey in a protective manner.
Stacey: *whispering* What the hell that guy gives me the creeps
Paul: *whispering* Just ignore him babe old people start to a little crazy at his age
Steve: And that children is called cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs
Trish: Uhhhh….I think we really ought to get going Jax. Don’t want to get there too late.
Panel 2: Jax and the old man again, but Jax has started to turn away from him at this point. He is trying to be upbeat and good natured about all of this, but it’s getting harder to do so.
Jax: Well… I appreciate the info, but I think all of my friends are trying to go.
Jax: Thanks again for the brisket recommendation
Panel 3: Same panel as before, but this time Willie has reached out and grabbed Jax’s arm. Willie also looks a little more manic than before.
Sfx: Snatch!
Willie: You should listen to your elders here boy. I’m telling you the truth!
Jax: Hey man let go of me!
Willie: *yelling now* NO GOOD WILL COME OF YOU GOING UP THERE!
Panel 4: We have drawn back the camera a little now and can see the open automatic door. The meat man behind the counter is looking towards the two of them. Willie still has Jax’s free arm as Jax struggles to shake him loose.
Butcher: Willie I think that’s quite enough now, don’t you?
Jax: Can’t you do something about this? I don’t want to hurt him
Willie: He might listen! I might just be able to convince him
Butcher: Willie!
Panel 5: Similar panel as the one before, only this time Willie has let go of Jax’s arm and looks defeated. The butcher is holding out a bag that is full of more BBQ towards Jax. Jax still looks uncomfortable, but is relieved that Willie let him go.
Butcher: On behalf of Willie and our establishment I would like to offer our sincerest apologies.
Butcher: Old Willie here can sometimes get a little worked up over nothing.
Jax: Don’t mention it…. I guess
Butcher: Please take this food. It’s on the house. It’s the least I can do.
Jax: …thanks
Panel 6: Now we are looking back at Willie in the panel again. He looks deflated and frail here. Not at all sinister like he did a little while ago. He looks almost pitiful now.
Willie: On your way back….. Make sure you drop by again…
Willie: Our food is so good that it’ll….it’ll… it’ll make you whistle…
Page 9
Here we have Jax and his friends back in the car talking about what the fuck it was that just happened.
Panel 1: Camera in the front of the van looking towards the back. We can see Jax with both hands on the steering wheel looking hunched uncomfortable. Everyone else is back in their seats from earlier. Trish looks concerned and has a caring hand placed on Jax’s shoulder.
Jax: What the FUCK was that?!
Panel 2: Looking at Steve now with the bag of BBQ sitting on the floor in front of him as he goes through it. We can see part or all of Stacey and Paul in the bucket seats in front of the back row.
Steve: Now Jax there is nothing wrong with making a new friend.
Steve: Hell, I wish I had some of that dynamic charisma. Apparently no one can resist you.
Panel 3: We can see Jax behind the wheel again, but this time he’s looser and more relaxed. He is laughing slightly. Trish is still eyeing him, but doesn’t look as worried here
Jax: Yeah, yeah, whatever you say.
Panel 4: Paul is leaning forward now to get closer to Jax looking a little more serious now.
Paul: In all seriousness man, fuck that guy who cares. He’s just a crazy old dude, he’s harmless
Jax: I know, I know. I just have to shake it off.
Panel 5: Birds eye view of the outside of the van here looking down so we can see the top. The van is just starting the turn off the main road onto a dirt one. It is still pretty bright out, probably around 2’oclock
Jax from inside the van: And luckily, we’re finally here.
Panel 6: Panel here of the front of the house. There is a big spacious front yard and a well manicured front lawn. It is a bright beautiful day and there are flowers. All 5 of them are out of the van and staring at the house. Jax is a step ahead with his hand out gesturing towards the house.
Jax: I present to you….our airbnb!
Paul: Oh dude, nice!
Stacey: This is going to be so much fun.
Steve: I mean it’s pretty nice. If you’re into that sort of thing.
Trish: Oh, shut up Steve.
Panel 7: Camera is zoomed in more now just on Jax who has opened the door of the house and has turned to look back towards the camera at his off screen friends.
Jax: The river is out back, but first let’s check out the house!
Page 10
Continuation of the last page with the friends exploring the space a little bit more.
Panel 1: All of the friends are inside the space now with their bags and items. One of them, probably Steve, has the Whistling Willie’s BBQ bag in his hand as well. They are on the first floor in the family room space
Jax: I figured that we’ll take a quick second to unpack before we change and head down to the river. We still have a few hours of good daylight to enjoy.
Steve: Damn man, you only need a quick second up there? I feel a little bad for Trish.
Panel 2: Trish and Steve are the focus for this panel and Trish has Steve’s right hand lifted up and in both her hands while she addresses him.
Trish: Don’t worry Steve, you’ll have plenty of time to spend with your girlfriend Jill on this trip. Take all the time you need.
Steve: When you put it like that…ouch.
Trish: That’s what I thought.
Panel 3: Paul and Stacey have already started up the stairs at this point. Stacey is leading the way with Paul’s hand in hers while she looks back down impishly. Paul is looking up towards her, but from the side of his face he looks a little sheepish
Stacey: You all figure yourselves out, Paul and I will be upstairs…
Paul: Stacey..
Stacey: Unpacking! We’ll be upstairs unpacking.
Conversation bubble coming from behind them: We’re leaving in 15 minutes!
Panel 4: We are in the owner suite and Jax is sitting on the bed looking lost in thought. Hands clasped in between his knees. Stacey has her back turned to him while she puts her clothes in a dresser. She has turned her head towards him though.
Jax sfx: Sigh
Trish: Everything alright back there?
Jax: Yeah I’m good, I just keep thinking about that old man.
Trish: What about him?
Jax: I don’t know, I just feel…unsettled.
Panel 5: Trish has come over to Jax now and is leaning on the bed next to Jax with her arm around him. Jax still has his hands clasped between his knees, but he is leaning his head on her now.
Trish: Babe, he was just a crazy old man. It’s more sad than anything else.
Jax: I mean I guess, but what if..
Trish interrupting: What if nothing. Nothing bad is going to happen to us. All we need to do is focus on having fun.
Jax: Yeah, I guess you’re right.
Trish: Now can we please focus on a more important question here?
Panel 6: Trish has walked away from Jax at this point, but is turned fully towards him with two different bikinis in her hands. She is still fully clothed here, but her clothes are accentuating her figure a little bit more here. She has a red bikini on a hanger in front of her here and a blue bikini in an outstretched arm. She also has a little more of a sultry look on her face. Not overdoing it though.
Trish: Blue….or Red?
Page 11
Fast forwarding a little bit here we are down in the river. A little bit of fan service here and some time for all of the friends to hang out.
Panel 1: Thinking large panel here taking up around half the page. Trish and Stacey are front and center in bikinis splashing each other. Bikinis are not overly revealing, but they are tastefully small. Trish chose the red one (unsurprisingly). Off to the side we have Jax and Paul wrestling, Jax has Paul bent over in a headlock. Steve is jumping into the water cannonball style and has just started touching the water.
SFX: Splash
Stacey and Trish: hahaha
Jax: What’re you gonna do now Paul?
Steve: CANNONBALL!!!!!
Panel 2: Steve has landed in the water and splashed everyone at this point in time. The guys find it hysterical, the girls are a little less amused
Sfx: SPLASH!!
Sfx: Laughter
Boys (in unison): HAHAHAHA
Grils (in unison): Steve!!
Panel 3: Close up of just Steve here one arm up with his hand behind his head laughing sheepishly.
Steve: hahaha…whoops
Page 12
Panel 1: The three boys are standing by each other here in a rocky outcropping in the river. The camera is somewhat behind them to show that they are standing by each other, and the girls are on the other side of the river out of earshot. Jax has both his arms up on rocks that are on either side of him. The others are standing/leaning on things themselves while they chat.
Paul: How are you holding up after the gas station?
Jax: I’m pretty over it. It was just fucking weird man. Like what was up with that guy?
Steve: That just happens when people get older.
Panel 2: Another camera angle of the 3 guys talking. We can focus solely on them at this point, with the girls no longer in view.
Steve: Once my grandfather hit 70 it was all downhill. He was sleep walking, having episodes, all kinds of shit.
Steve: But, I think there’s something more important to think about right now
Paul: What’s that?
Panel 3: Close up of the two girls on the other side of the river. Both are sitting on rocks on the river edge with their feet in the water. They are looking good here.
Steve off screen: How’s everything going with the ladies and you two lucky bastards?
Panel 4: Back over to the guys here, camera is zoomed in looking closer at Jax here. He has a dreamy sort of expression on his face and is looking up slightly.
Jax: Honestly, it’s great. I’m ready to just settle down and make a life with her ya know?
Panel 5: Small panel here of Steve with a knowing grin on his face.
Steve: Heh, yeah, that sounds about right.
Steve: How about you Paul?
Panel 6: Close up of Paul here looking sheepish and off to the side a little.
Paul: Stacey is great, but sometimes I don’t know if things are my idea or hers.
Paul: Like, when she wants something she makes it happen. I barely knew her before she let me know that we were dating.
Paul: It can be a little….intimidating
Panel 7: Similar to panel 2 here, but the guys are clearly giving Paul shit and punching at him while all of them are laughing.
Steve: This poor guy!
Jax: I just have this hot girl who loves me and likes to take charge every now and then.
Steve: Aw I’m so sorry she knows where she wants to go for dinner.
Paul: Sh…Shut up!
Sfx: laughing
Page 13
Girls talking here.
Panel 1: Camera side view here of Trish and Stacey. They are both looking towards the camera off to the side since they can hear the boy's laughter. Trish is sitting on a rock like panel 3 from the last page. Stacey is fully in the water now, but has her chest and arms crossed over on a rock. Her butt and legs are floating slightly out of the water as well.
Trish: What are they laughing about over there?
Stacey: Who cares boys are dumb. One of them probably farted or something.
Panel 2:Front camera view of Trish sliding into the water to come over to Stacey. She has a smirk on her face and is looking towards Stacey
Sfx: Splash
Trish: Oh really?
Trish: So you aren’t still head over heels for Paul?
Panel 3: Stacey looking up and a little exasperated here.
Sfx: groan
Stacey: Of course I am, but what comes next? I’ll be leaving for law school soon.
Panel 4: Trish has come over now trying to soothe Stacey. She has her arm around her and a calming expression on her face while Stacey is pouting.
Trish: Hey now, you’re doing the right thing for you and your future. It’ll be tough, but the two of you can figure it out.
Stacey: Easy for you to say. You and Jax are going to be living together this fall.
Panel 5: Camera is behind and to the side of the girls now. They are in the same position of Trish having her arm around Stacey, but we can see the boys horseplaying on the other side of the river.
Trish: Look, boys are dumb.
Stacey: See?
Trish: But no matter what happens, you will be amazing. Plus, all the more reason to make the most of the time you have.
Panel 6: Close up of the two girls from the waist up in the water. They now have mischievous, more seductive looks on their faces as they look across the water towards their respective boy friends.
Trish: Now, what do you say we go grab our men before they start falling for Steve?
Sfx: Giggle
Stacey: I can get on board with that.
Page 14
Back at house Jax and Trish are back in the bedroom and are chatting a little before they have sex (off screen). I think page 14 will have a few less panels so we can have a larger vertical panel of Trish looking sexy in a towel.
Panel 1: Side camera view of Jax facing an open bathroom door. He is sitting on the bed in a towel leaning back with his hands behind him propping him up. We can see some steam coming through the door as well showing that Trish is in there showering.
Sfx: Pshhh
Jax: Are you sure you don’t need my help in there?
Trish: Good things come to those who wait, my love.
Panel 2: Camera from Jax’s point of view looking into the bathroom. The mirror is fogged up, but we can see the outline of Trish drying off in the mirror. Nothing overly explicit, but we can see that it is clearly her.
Trish: Was the river just as fun as you remembered?
Panel 3: Jax is laying back on the bed now with his hands behind his head. He has a look of content relaxed happiness on his face and his eyes are half closed.
Jax: Oh yeah, I told all of you this was going to be a good trip.
Trish off screen: Ahem
Panel 4: Trish is standing in the doorway of the bathroom with her hair down, wearing a towel. The towel is just long enough to cover all of her, but we can see the top curve of her breasts and almost all of her legs. As usual, she looks GOOD here. We want her to have a slightly seductive look on her face.
Trish: How about we make it even better?
Page 15
Jax goes over to Trish to kiss her. From here he lifts her up and lays her on the bed. We want a tender moment where Jax tells her that he loves her and then he will go down on her off screen. I am struggling slightly with how to show movement the right way, so feel free to edit the panels as needed to show more fluidity. Do we need the sound effects here or does it hurt them? We can potentially try both and see.
Panel 1: Side camera view here of Jax going over to Trish and kissing her. He is already over to her and kissing her at this point with his arms around her and hers lifted above his shoulders laced over his neck. They are both still wearing their towels.
SFX: Kiss
Panel 2: Jax has lifted up Trish and has partially rotated her, in the air, to the bed. Trish’s back is to us and her feet fare up in the air slightly. Lots of movement here.
Jax: I’m always down for better
Trish: Eeek
SFX: hahaha
Panel 3: Side camera view here. Jax and Trish are laying on the bed now with Jax on top, but off to the side a little. They are kissing here.
SFX: Kiss
Panel 4: Same as last panel, but Jax has pulled his head away and is looking lovingly at Trish. She is looking up at him with that same loving expression.
Jax: I love you.
Trish: I love you too.
Jax: I can’t wait until we live together.
Trish: It will be like this all the time.
Panel 5: The camera is looking down from the ceiling now. Jax is kissing Trish’s neck and we can’t see much of her through his muscled back. Trish is biting her lip slightly and has her arms wrapped around Jax.
Trish: Oh Jax.
Panel 6: The camera is still looking down from the ceiling here. Jax has now slid down and out of the frame. Trish has her head tilted back with her mouth open moaning in pleasure here. We can see enough of her top half to know that she has her hands on someone's head out of panel. The towel is open slightly here, but we don’t have a full on frontal view of her topless. More just with curves.
Sfx: moan
Trish: OHH Jax!
Page 16
After their various private adventures, all of the friends find themselves back downstairs in the living room area after eating dinner. They are currently wondering what they want to do for the rest of the evening when a mysterious knock interrupts them.
Panel 1: The five friends are all hanging out in the living room and kitchen area. Camera is from the front and right so we can see all of them. Jax and Steve are sitting on one couch with Stacey sitting long legged on another. She is on her phone. We can see Trish and Paul behind them in the kitchen cleaning up a little. Trish is at the sink with her back facing us and Paul is partially bent over the counter wiping it down. There are a few half empty pizza boxes lying open.
Steve: Man, pizza delivers everywhere. Who’d have thought that you could get it out here in the boonies.
Jax: Dude, we are literally right off a busy road. This isn’t the middle of nowhere.
Panel 2: Similar panel as the one prior, but Paul has joined the conversation and Jax and Steve have turned to look over at him.
Paul: So what should we do tonight? Does anyone have anything in mind?
Trish: I’m down for whatever.
Jax: Get a little drunk and play board games?
Steve: Already halfway there!
Paul: Stace?
Panel 3: Close up of Stacey with her feet across the couch still looking at her phone. She just looks calm and relaxed here.
Stacey: As long as it’s cooperative, I don’t want you whining about how bad I beat you!
Paul off screen: Deal!
Panel 4: Camera is in the middle of the kitchen and living room area facing towards the door now. We can see everyone in similar positions while they are planning out what game to play. We can see the door here as well and there is a knocking sound coming from it. Trish still has her back to everyone, but is talking easily enough.
Trish: I request that it’s not too complicated. I’m kind of tired from the day and don’t want to read 10 pages of rules
Steve: Hmm, I wonder why that is?
Trish: Shut up St…
SFX: Knock Knock Knock (ominous)
Panel 5: Same exact panel as panel 4, but everyone is looking at the door now
Jax: What the…?
Page 17
Since Paul is standing here he is the one that volunteers to go check out the door. The others are a little like what the fuck is going on here, but Paul says it’s probably just the pizza guy forgetting something. He opens the door and doesn’t see anyone. Then he turns back to tell everyone this, but is cut short.
Panel 1: Camera view of Paul standing in the kitchen. He is slightly leaned over the kitchen counter. We can see part of the kitchen and part of Trish here.
Paul: I’ll get it.
Trish: You sure?
Paul: Yeah, I’m already up.
Panel 2: Camera is at a similar angle to panel 4 and 5 from before allowing us to see Paul walking towards the door.
Jax: Who’s knocking on the door this late at night?
Stacey: Yeah babe I don’t know…this is kind of weird.
Panel 3: Another close up camera on Paul’s back, but he has turned to look back towards the camera and the others.
Paul: Don’t spook yourselves guys. The pizza guy probably just forgot something.
Paul: Just start setting up the game.
Panel 4: Paul has just opened the door here, but there is noone there.
Paul: Hello?
Panel 5: Paul sticks his body outside of the door here and is looking around. Camera is far enough back to see his entire body leaning to the right to check outside.
Paul: Hello?
Paul: Is anyone there?
Offscreen: What do you see?
Panel 6: Paul has turned back completely to face everyone now but is in front of the door so we can’t really see behind him. He has his right hand on the edge of the door and has a puzzled look on his face. If it’s impossible to completely block the door (which honestly isn’t a big deal) We can see parts of the outline of a big imposing figure behind him. The others wouldn’t really be able to see it though.
Paul: I didn’t see anything, maybe a branch hit the door or some…
Page 18
Poor Paul, let’s have this be a full page panel. Paul is further into the room and is eclipsing a huge hulking mass of man that is behind him. He has a shocked look on his face and is leaning back slightly unnaturally and has blood dripping from the corners of his mouth. A chainsaw blade sprouted from the center of his chest and started to spray blood. Alpha can be partially seen here, but his face and other parts of his body are in the shadows. Most of the focus should be on Paul here.
Paul: thing…
Sfx: RRRRIP
Page 19
Paul is lifted off the ground and the chainsaw cuts through his chest and head. He fall to the ground on his knees with his torso literally sawn in half and leaning off to either side. Thinking 4 larger panels here. First of Paul again, the second of his friends looking on in terror, then him falling and splitting.
Rob what do you think some good sound effects for this would be?
Panel 1: First panel is like a smaller page 18. Paul is lifted off the ground here though and the chainsaw is now a little higher up his chest. There is more blood coming out of his mouth and spraying out from his chest wound. We can see a little more of Alpha now at this point he is not so in the shadows.
Paul: Urgg
SFX: VRRRRRRRIUP
Off screen: PAULLLLLLL
Panel 2: Camera is facing the, now 4, friends as they look on in shock and horror. Stacey is screaming hysterically, Steve looks on with an enraged yell. Trish looks shocked, and Jax has a stunned almost dumb look on his face here.
Stacey: AAAIEEIEIEIEI!!!!
Sfx: VRRRRRIIIIIP
Panel 3: The chainsaw has finished its work and Paul lands crumpled on his knees. He is still upright, but clearly dead at this point with his body just barely holding itself up. We can see the legs of Alpha behind him, but that's it. There is a red gash going up Paul’s body from center chest to head.
SfX: Thud
Sfx: VRRVRRVRR
Panel 4: Very similar to the previous panel, but Paul has split in two vertically where he was cut. We can see more spraying blood and the legs of Alpha behind him.
`Sfx: SKRRCCHHH
Page 20-21 big two page spread here
A big two page spread here showing just how fast and fucking crazy everything is getting right now. The next 4 pages should pass like a fever dream. Lots of action and violence. If readers could almost feel tired after reading all of this that would be amazing. Steve yells mother fucker and rushes the guy. Stacey is balled up on the couch hands by her head screaming. Jax is frozen and Trish is yelling at Jax trying to shake him, but the font is really tiny to show that it’s not getting through. Steve gets killed will get chainsawed down and we will end this pa
Panel 1: Close up view of Steve’s face. He looks a combination of enraged, devastated, and horrified. But we can really see the anger contorting his face and the spit flying from his mouth.
Steve: YOU MOTHER FUCKER!!
Panel 2: Steve has gotten up and is rushing in low to try and tackle Alpha. Alpha calmly looks on.
Steve: I’ll kill you!
Sfx: vrrvrrvrrvrr
Panel 3: Camera is focused on Stacey here. We can see Steve trying to tackle Alpha in the background, but the center of attention is on her. She is sitting in a similar fashion as before with her legs up and across the couch, but she has her hands up on either side of her face as she screams and cries.
Stacey: PAULLLLLLL
Sfx: Sobbing
Panel 4: Camera is facing towards the front door, Steve and Alpha. We are to the side of Jax seeing that he hasn’t moved from the couch and has his head turned staring straight at Steve rushing Alpha. Trish is standing in front of her letting us see her side profile and she has her hands on Jax’s shoulders screaming in his face. We can see underneath her arms that Steve is closer to Alpha now who has started to swing his chainsaw down towards him.
Trish: JAXXXXXXX!!!
Panel 5: A close up here of letting us see Jax’s face and part of his upper torso. We can see enough to tell that he has his head turned and is looking towards the camera. We can see Trish’s far arm and hand on Jax’s shoulder. Trish is yelling at him, and we can see it coming from her direction, but the text should be really tiny showing that Jax is in shock and can’t really hear her.
Jax thought bubble: Oh fuck, oh fuck. What do I do?
Trish yelling, but in a tiny bubble that we can barely read: JAXXXXXX!
Jax thought bubble: Move dammit, I need to move.
Panel 6: Panel has just Steve and Alpha in it now. Camera is a little behind Steve and to the side with us getting a better view of Alpha. Steve has just about got his hands on Alpha, but Alpha’s chainsaw has connected with Steve’s collarbone and blood has begun to spray
Steve: AGHHH
Panel 7: Camera is from the view of Alpha here. We can see his hands holding the chainsaw and that it is about halfway through Steve diagonally. Stacey is reaching over the couch now screaming “Steve”. Blood has sprayed on her face now at this point. Jax has gotten up now and has grabbed Trish’s hand while starting to pull her in front of him. Steve is also reaching in out towards the camera. All three of them are looking right towards the camera.
All three in unin unison: STEEEVVVEE!!
Sfx: VRRRRUIUIPPP
Panel 8: Side and downward camera angle of Steve and Alpha. Steve has fallen to the ground and is cut in half. There is a pool of blood that Alpha has stepped into.
Jax offscreen: Trish, Stacey, RUN!
Panel 9: Camera view from Jax’s eyes here. He has pushed Trish ahead of him here and the two of them are aimed towards the kitchen dining room area around Alpha. We can only see the back of Trish. He is reaching out towards Stacey who is also looking at him with her arm outstretched. She is absolutely terrified with tears still running down her face streaking the blood that was sprayed on her. Alpha is almost to the living room area and has almost reached the couch where Stacey was seated.
Jax: Trish go, go, go!
Stacey: JAXX!
Panel 10: Camera is facing everyone from the side at this point. Trish may be too far ahead and out of view, but Jax has Stacey’s hand and is pulling her behind him with his right hand leaving him partially turned away from us. Stacey has also grabbed with her right hand so her body is more open and facing the camera. We can clearly see her terrified crying face here. Alpha is in between them bringing his chainsaw down towards Stacey’s arm.
Jax: Stacey grab my hand
Stacey: AHHHHHHH
Jax: Come on!!
Sfx: VRRRRRRR
Page 22
Unfortunately, Stacey isn’t going to make it. Try as he might, Jax moved too slow here and Alpha will chop right through her arm and finish her off while Jax and Trish stare in horror. After seeing Alpha approach the fallen Stacey, they will run off towards the front door.
Panel 1: Repeat of panel 6 on the last page, only this time the chainsaw has gone through Stacey’s arm. Her look of terror has also been combined with one of pain as she has her mouth open in a loud scream. She has started to stumble and fall as well. Jax is still holding her hand without realizing that the arm is missing a body.
Stacey: AAAAIEIEIE
Sfx: VRRIURRR
Panel 2: The camera is now in front of Trish and Jax looking back towards them. We can see Trish in the front here looking terrified. Jax is right behind her partially looking back towards Stacey while he continues to push Trish forward. He still has Stacey’s arm in his hand. Stacey and Alpha are clearly behind them now with Stacey having fallen on the floor and Alpha standing almost on top of her with his chainsaw. Stacey is reaching out towards them with her stumped arm while using her good arm to hold her up.
Jax and Trish: Stacey!!!
Stacey: Help me!!
Sfx: VRRRR
Panel 3: Camera is the same angle as before, but has zoomed in closer to Alpha and Stacey. They are in a similar position, but now Alpha’s chainsaw has started to cut into her back. Stacey is still reaching out towards her two living friends, but the pain has also caused her to arch upwards in a scream.
Stacey: AAIIGH
Sfx: VRRRIUUIIRRR
Panel 4: Camera is looking back towards Jax and Trish now who are clearly still running with their chests facing forward, but also looking back at the carnage behind them. Trish is still in the front with tears running down her face as she looks sideways at her friend. Jax isn’t looking as hard as Trish is now focused more on Trish and escape as he continues to push Trish ahead of himself towards the door.
Trish: NOOO
Jax: Move Trish MOVE!!!!
Stacey offscreen: AAAAAAAAGH
Panel 5: Camera is behind and to the side of Jax and Trish as they are now running through the living room area that was connected to the dining room. They are nearing the archway which will take them that much closer to the front door. We can really just see their backs and sides of their faces as they strain to get out of the house.
Trish: Oh God, Oh God!
Jax: We’re almost there, we’re going to make it!
Panel 6: Camera is at Jax’s POV for this one. They have arrived at the arch, but he cannot see far past it yet. We can see Jax’s arm reaching forward with his hand placed on the small of Trish’s back. We can see part of the side of Trish’s face. We can just see a chainsaw blade arcing downwards through the arch, but Jax hasn’t realized it yet.
Jax: Through the door, go, go!
Page 23
We all knew Trish wasn’t going to be able to make it out alive. Trish will be cut down and Jax will crumple.
Panel 1: We want a nice big half page panel. The camera is looking towards the arch of the living room here. We can see the back of Alpha as he has swung his chainsaw down and into Trish. It is a “lighter” wound than with Steve, it hasn’t cut through her, but is a deep slash down the front of her at an angle. Trish has a stunned look on her face as though she can’t even feel the pain. Jax is just behind her and to the right so we can clearly see his agonized expression as he screams.
Trish: -guhh
Jax: TRISHHH
Sfx: VRRRIUUUURRM
Panel 2: Camera is looking directly at Jax and Trish now. Trish is barely held together and very clearly dying. Jax is looking down at her devastated. We can’t see Alpha in this frame.
Jax: No….oh God no
Panel 3: Panel is very much like the last one, only now Jax has slumped to his knees. His left arm (our right) is underneath her head and upper back. The other arm is draped over her and he continues to look down crying.
Jax: It’s…it’s all my fault
Page 24
We are going to be looking directly down at Trish for a second here to have a touching goodbye. Jax will scream at Alpha to kill him and the silent killer will finally say a word before dropping the chainsaw off right next to Jax and walking out the door. Leaving us with a final look at the chainsaw.
Panel 1: POV view of Trish in Jax’s lap after he crumpled to his knees. She looks oddly at peace even after all this violence has occurred. Tears still streak her face as she looks up towards Jax. The dialogue should start normal sized and get progressively smaller here to show she barely whispers the last word.
Jax: No…please Trish…no
Trish: I…Love…you
Panel 2: Camera is still facing Jax and Trish now like it was for panel 3 of page 23. Jax is looking up towards the ceiling screaming his head off. We can see his mouth wide open and the muscular cords in his neck bunching. He still has his arms around Trish bringing her close to him.
Jax: AHHHHHHHHH!!!
Panel 3: Camera is behind Jax and to the side so we can see him yelling up at Alpha who has been passively standing there watching this all unfold. Jax rages and yells at him while the murderer just stands there.
Jax: Well then?!?
Jax: Fucking do it! Get this over with, KILL ME!!
Panel 4: Similar camera angle and panel as before, but Alpha has dropped his chainsaw and takes a step forward towards Jax. He has reached his arm across Jax’s body, putting his left hand on Jax’s left shoulder.
Sfx: Thunk
Panel 5: Camera is behind Jax so we see the back of his head and Alpha’s face. Alpha has partially knelt down now and brought his face right next to Jax’s. We have a clear view of his face eclipsed in shadow. The lettering here should look and kind of creepy.
Alpha: Not yet, soon
Panel 6: Camera is facing the open door. The chainsaw that Alpha dropped is front and center in front of the open door. Jax is out of this panel. We can see Alpha walking away down the front driveway area in the background. The chainsaw looks like a normal chainsaw in shape, but has an almost black organic matter growing on it.
To be continued…
